Showing posts with label Potty Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Potty Humour. Show all posts

MMAR Coalition Against Repeal Party! Feds Lose Round 1

Let Them Eat Cake!
Recently, I stumbled across an event that was just too, well, different to not blog about. One of my fave bands that I promote through various means was playing in the 6 Nations of the Grand River Reserve near Brantford, Ontario, Canada, and I thought that a unique location and opportunity to check out that part of Ontario and culture, and possibly scope out some local aboriginal talent as well.

We overshot and found the coalition's event sponsors
Riding with Ray Yap, composer and lead guitar / singer for reggae / rockers, The Yappers, on his first visit to a reserve, he seemed mesmerized by all the signs advertising tax free products like cigarettes and gas - with gas actually under $1 litre! His reaction was like we were rolling into Vegas or in something like the Twighlight Zone!

After missing the place one time - as it's signage was hard to spot - we finally arrived, and, walking inside, found a beautiful spot to play - barn-like in its inner design, with high wood beam supported ceilings adorned with strategically placed chandeliers. The stage and sound equipment were top notch too, including the conveniently mobile sound booth. I'm told the place could get rowdy at times but on this night, as it would turn out, there was not even a need for a doorman - although some pretty scrappy looking gentlemen stood by who could certainly assert some control on someone need be I was sure.

Host for event in 6 Nations
As I wandered around during set up, I was amazed at all the paraphernalia their sponsors had put out for prizes and display as well as an array of baked goods that were made with pot,  complete with a big cake, adorned with green nougat pot leaves. It was almost like something out of a Cheech and Chong movie but in the future! Hey, man, shit happens when you're covering a reggae rock band. Ha.


The no-alcohol event was in support of medical marijuana for a fundraiser for the group called the MMAR Coalition Against Repeal who are on a mission to raise funds for lawyers fees in order to continue their battle to preserve the right for people to have the right to grow their own medicine (and food) - namely marijuana.

The Coalition which boasts over 6,600 members across Canada has raised over $144,000 so far towards the $250,000 needed to hire their top gun Lawyer, Johnny Conroy to take it to the next legal step. Essentially their argument is simple - Canadians are constitutionally entitled to grow medicine and food - without government control.

The (now former) federal government, for its part, had unveiled a list of reasons pot shouldn't be 'legal' including scientific, and fact based nuggets, such as "it's a gateway drug to harder drugs". Wow! Really hard hitting stuff, no puns intended. Former heavyweight boxing champion, George Chuvalo, who lost two sons to heroin overdoses and a wife to suicide thinks tobacco is the gateway drug. His son emphasized that fact before dying and Chuvalo has relayed his message for years now, yet the government has never acted to close this "gateway", nor created a list, despite also now knowing that the addictive nicotine laden drug also causes lung cancer.

" Tobacco is usually the first addictive poison a young person will introduce to their bodies" George Chuvalo

All successive federal governments, from my understanding, had always denied marijuana had any medical value - while at the same time holding the patent to the medical development of cannabis. This fueled conspiracy theorists that it was a cancer cure that government and big pharmaceuticals wanted to hide, and then control it, on their terms.

I'm not quite convinced on the cancer cure-all yet but I do believe there is medicinal value to be gleaned certainly - in some cases the only relief one can get - such as those afflicted with constant convulsions - so there seems no doubt now. Meantime the government has stopped issuing any more new grow licenses.

Event Poster
Vessels for use and growing
The tricky part for government is grappling control of it, given that cannabis is becoming more accepted as a medicine / treatment, and that seems covered by the peoples' right to grow it.

Thus the smoke-screens with the moral reasons for them controlling its sale and manufacture of it in forms for ingesting, such as pill, food, oil, etc. The government simply has not been good frankly at handling this part, or even growing on a quality on par as most self-growers and often lack consistency - something MMAR Repealists say they can manage much better. And that patients know what form or type works best for themselves.

For example, a person may find a certain strain seems to make them want to clean and do things, while another it made them feel groggy, but only the patient would know which side affect was affecting them and in what way, and they then would be able to adjust what product form they took to best suit their ailment.  Surely most Doctors won't have the ability to decipher that while 'prescribing". The government model would have you get what you get - and them large profits.

VIP upstairs
Another argument the government has trotted out is that it will cause crime and gang activity. Ha. Who do they think is controlling the bulk of the sales now? Even if the government tried to assert control, such as their recent attempts to clamp down on tobacco smuggling, people will still access it from the street, because it's cheaper - but not safer. So self-grown or a trusted supply of your medicine type is safer, more efficient, and stress free.

The Yappers rock out on stage
The establishment's clumsy attempts thus far at being proprietor of a medicine they claimed for years didn't exist, only exasperates the issue and so groups like the MMAR Coalition Against Repeal raising this issue in the courts and fighting a constitutional challenge is really the only way this can be decided.

It kind of reminds me of what always seems  wrong with "do-gooder" programs; for example when they leave people with lived experience off  the organizing committees and boards, resulting in ineffective programs or poor distribution of essential services. No difference. Surely this is one issue where "grass roots" input applies!?
Hey!..who ate part of this pot cookie?
The rest of the evening was an experience and a half, with an outdoor area set up for members to use their various medicines and share ideas and usage vessels, and, where I learned new terms such as Mango-melon, and what a dab was ( essentially oil made from cannabis). Lol. I also learned weed can be made into a solid butter-like substance from which "dabs' can be scraped off to be consumed for medicine without tobacco use.

In addition to the entertainment provided on this night, and the baked goods, and table munchies, solo singer keyboardist, The Lounge Lizard, also appeared onstage following The Yappers playing with unbridled passion it seemed this night, as well the hosts had an array of hip hop performers on the later slate, including somelocal aboriginal performers who rocked it!
Prizes Sponsor


The main event however, was a talk by legalize activist Jason Wilcox flown in from B.C. to address the group, and who's fight for the right to grow is where this all began. His knowledge on the Marihuana for Medical Purposes Regulations, which the government is currently trying to get enacted, is what alerted people to the issue, as essentially, he says, they are trying to remove the right for the sick and disabled to grow their own medicine while pushing the "industry" to commercial growers  expected to make patients start to pay up to 4 x what they had been previously, all for making a killing in a new taxes revenue stream.

In the best of times, I'm the world's biggest skeptic, until I see cold hard facts, and enough of them, and I'm still up in the air about some of the claims for medical marijuana - but I certainly don't deny it offers clear cut, life altering treatment in some cases and would encourage - if the government really wants to do some 'good"  that they start testing canabinboids, as well as the non psycho active C.B.D.'s, for all the various claims that people are saying its use of it is doing for them - like oil treatment for skin cancer etc - so they can be brought further into the treatment fold.
Government can't bogart the issue forever.


Just Crazy!
I met and wrote about the man who introduced John Lennon to former Prime Minister, Pierre Elliot Trudeau, who then smoked pot with Trudeau's "Commission on Marijuana" reps, so it's certainly not new to government either. 

It seems ironic now that a prodigal son may be 'king" soon, and, when that happens, it is more likely the time for real change on this issue in Canada.

Recently, the Supreme Court sided with those choosing other methods than smoking it, and so, if you're a medical user, these may just be the horses to put your money on for this race! Watch for a MMARCAR event near you!

Peace Out!

Extreme Potty Humour

Recently I wrote a blog that was penned as a promotion for a stand-up comedy show, done through a blog featuring a posting of a stand up routine. It was laiden with adult humor, some of it outrageous, and was a re-creation of a stand up routine - not anyone's real life. The content was meant to be humourous, crude humour at times yes, but humour nevertheless. Okay, Okay, maybe the viagara stuff was way off the scale, but that's what exaggerations do, they break them.
Humour is subjective..just ask Alfredo!

Comedy through stand-up is an exaggeration of things we hear about from people around us, our environment, and from ourselves, in snippets, and then blown up to outrageous proportions. It's not meant to be taken literally nor personally. This particular routine was more down the road of George Carlin to give you an idea as opposed to....who? They all seem to use some crude humour come to think of it now a days.

I always thought of Tim Allen from Tool Time  as clean cut, and would certainly relate him to family shows and kids, but man his stand-up show is all out adult crude and rude! I couldn't believe listening to his routine the other day when I caught him on t.v., as no subject seemed taboo. When he started getting into the jokes about how he farts more now that he's older but hides it better, I tuned out...but for someone else they may have found that funny! Not me and to each their own, but I certainly wouldn't hold it against him or perhaps boycott Tool Time or anything for using adult humour in a made up stand up routine aimed at an audience of adults. Tool man Tim would still be welcome at any trades shows featuring tools I'm sure loaded with familys and kids getting pics with him because people are able to separate " Standup Tim" from "Tool Time Tim" and don't relate the two. I guess that's kind of what I expected through posting a standup routine - that mature people could separate the two.



This being said I can see now how access to the blog I had posted could have resulted in youths accidentally coming across it at some point - and although I had placed a large warning in red warning that content may have been offensive to some, and mentioned 18+, youths may still have been able to accidentally stumble across it or the link to it if they "searched" for TPE blogs at any time in the future so I decided to move it.
Standup humour in an Elvis Impression can be funny

Maybe catch a live Yuk Yuk's show!

Meantime here's some safe, "Clean" Potty Humour for you! 

If you don't like Potty Humour then I suggest you don't read below!


                  Stand-up Ala Tim Allen from Tool Time style...

"The Dance"

Soon after I'd moved into a new neighbourhood I'd gone for a long walk with the kids to discover the local shops about an hours walk away, and 3/4's the way there I suddenly realized I was wearing white pants, after I'd suddenly realized the little fart I'd just had..wasn't a fart at all! And I also realized at that point, talk about stating the obvious, that I needed a bathroom..badly...and I still had like..blocks to go! I crossed the street as fast as I could, taking all my concentration to look cool...kids oblivious to my dilemma and demanding the usual things at the usual rapid fire pace as you stroll at break-neck speed son's little feet barely touching the ground, and it takes all you have to simply concentrate on gripping his hand and pushing the stroller with the other while keeping your bowels contained until you get there. You've managed to find a style that allows you to keep your butt cheeks clenched. Kinda like a penguin running toward water, a polar bear on his tail.

Finally you reach the closest (donut) shop shoving a looney in your kid's hand to keep them amused on a video game for a "minute" as you dash to the bathroom ...Frick!..the door's locked!

At this point you start doing "The Dance". Come on you all know what I'm talking about.  You've all done it I'm sure. You start bouncing from one foot to the other as if somehow doing that will stop the...flow.. from coming exploding out of you......Hey, maybe it does work? Maybe it spills over from your bladder and back and forth into each leg as long as you keep moving you keep catching the internal overflow. Who knows why we do it but we do. You look like you're doing a sit down version right now maam? Do you have to go to the bathroom? No? You sure? because if you do it's okay. I know what it's like. Or use it as an excuse to leave the show. Shit I would! Someone embarrassing me like that. No pun intended.Anyway where was I? Sorry ma'am, I was just kidding. I know women are notorious for holding it. Anyway, yea, so suddenly You hear a flush! Finally the end is in sight!..but "The Dance" has gotten more and more intense as your intervals of changing foot leanings is now down to milliseconds on each you await the door opening your inners ready to burst now..then you hear tap water running..Shoot! You had to get stuck behind someone clean!.. 

Never mind your frickin hands your mom was a liar! " 

The Dance" has taken on another dimension now and then you just can't stop it anymore! First it's just a slight release..a splatter..but you're pretty sure you can hold it to that, and then there's another as you're still doing the dance try to control it, and finally the door opens! For that brief moment you're able to stop the dance as he passes by and you manage to look completely at ease, then the millisecond he passes you zip in ripping at your pants button as you close the door and lock it.. but excrement is now just exploding out of you everywhere!

And I mean everywhere and it just kept coming like a frickin' machine gun out of control!
Potty Humour : The driver first thought impaired, had the dance.

Yea, and you've already mentally resolved now that the day's over, you're just hoping to get out unnoticed at this point! But...shit, sorry, couldn't help myself, Shit! not only do you have to clean it off yourself, but off the floor, the walls, the ceiling? Ceiling? How the...? ..and oh yea, the "white" pants....or you could get out as fast as you can and leave it with some poor attendant...gulp..Hey I did my best...Seriously!

Somehow I got my son's attention and managed to get him to phone a cab from the payphone clear across the room from me as I cleaned up as best I could...crap in every conceivable crevice that my lower body seemed to muster..folds I never knew existed emerged. It was disgusting..I'd a kicked me out for Christ sakes..even the mirror had some dots of proof...or poo-f.

I stayed with my back to the wall all the while we waited. The great single dad outing experience over before it began and the novelty of having allowed the kids sweets at the donut shop wearing off as they realized the promised exciting outing was coming to an end. You try explaining about having an accident and they become louder,

" You had an accident? You mean you pooed yourself!" 

" Sshhh....I'll explain later.Want another pop?"

Finally the cab comes! And if you can believe it likely the only day I can recall ever getting picked up by a beautiful cab driver, in my life I mean, usually I got someone who I'd be happy if they just spoke english, but this was like a godsend! And so here I am trying to be be personable, and charming as I sit not quite all the way down on my seat so my pants don't stick to my skin, the smell starting to become apparent I'm sure as I laughed and pointed at my kids and shrugged at her. No I didn't, but it was definitely not my most swaggering moment I can tell you.

After I got out I flashed a smile and goodbye but forgot to walk backwards giving her a full view I would imagine..future chances likely all gone in one shitty moment...all in all it was just one really shitty day!

 Have a Good One!

PS: Did it all happen exacly like this? Of course not, it's an exaggeration, but if I told you my driver's name was Raj and was personable speaking perfect english etc would it have been as 'effective? I doubt it.

TP